Devotional for Self-Control

Currently, our world focuses on living in the moment and saying or doing whatever we think or feel. But often the result is regret and remorse.

Rash decisions infrequently lead to happiness and contentment. More often than not, living in the moment and being driven by emotions lead to hurt feelings toward others and, ultimately, toward yourself.

Self-control is restraint exercised over one’s impulses, emotions, or desires, as defined by Merriam-Webster. It is the quality that allows you to stop yourself from doing things you want to do but that might not be in your best interest.

And we all mess up! Some days self-control feels impossible because we’re exhausted, wounded, or running on empty. That’s when we remember: true self-control isn’t white-knuckling—it’s the fruit of the Holy Spirit living in us (Galatians 5:22-25). Remember, against such things there is no law.

Self-control also means listening to the Holy Spirit when you are in situations that may go against God’s desires and teachings. It’s that little voice or unsettled feeling in your stomach. The Holy Spirit is reminding us to exercise restraint, as God knows what is best for us in all situations.

But we have to choose to listen. We first need to be in tune with the Holy Spirit to acknowledge the nudges and then have a desire to listen.

In marriage, self-control looks like:

Biting your tongue instead of saying the cutting comeback that feels so good in the moment
Scrolling past that questionable account or conversation instead of feeding curiosity
Choosing to pray before you post or text in anger
Walking away from an argument instead of needing to win it
Waiting to speak until your voice is calm and kind, even when you’re furious
Refusing to let tiredness or stress turn into harsh words toward the person you love most

Take the time to read the scriptures below and truly focus on what they are saying to you. Some passages may touch you differently than others. Writing down the verses in your own hand is helpful for some individuals. Possibly looking up the verses in your Bible may be beneficial. I use a NIV bible translation. Or reading them over and over to commit to memory. Whatever method works best for you to experience God’s words and feel closer to Him.

Proverbs 25:28

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.

Proverbs 29:11

A fool give full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

1 Peter 1:13

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.

2 Peter 1:5-7

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.

2 Corinthians 10:5

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:4-8

But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. You are all sons of the light and sons of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.

Titus 2:11-12

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.

Galatians 5:22-25

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

Here's a short prayer for you if you can't find the words:

Father, I lose it way too often—with my words, my thoughts, my habits, my spouse. I’m sorry. Thank You that Your grace teaches me and Your Spirit empowers me. Give me the power today to pause, to breathe, to listen to Your nudge, and to choose what honors You and protects the people I love. Fill me with Your self-control when mine is gone. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Try one of these today:

Set a 10-second rule: before you speak or send that text in anger, count to 10 and pray ‘Holy Spirit, help.’
Tell your spouse one trigger area you’re asking God to help you control this week (words, phone, spending, etc.) and ask them to pray for you.
Put Galatians 5:22-25 on your lock screen as a reminder that self-control is fruit, not force.

I sincerely pray that these verses meet you where you are today and help you identify the areas of your life where you need to exhibit greater self-control.

God Bless,

Melissa