Devotional for Gossip
Gossip is spreading, revealing, or reporting personal or sensational facts about others. It's judgmental and usually cruel.
So why does it happen?
Because of our insecurities and lack of self-esteem.
In an attempt to make ourselves look better, we talk negatively about someone else.
Both men and women struggle with this, though it often shows up differently. And it sadly starts at a young age. Teens and adults alike will pick each other apart because that is what a person with low self-esteem does to themselves. The other person's clothes, size, beauty, strength, money, and personality characteristics. Each area that gets picked on by someone is generally the exact area they dislike or feel uncomfortable in.
People who feel comfortable in their own skin take the time to build others up. They don't feel like they are competing in whatever imaginary contest other people may focus on.
But here's truth, we’ve all done it—sometimes without even realizing it. Gossip isn’t just a ‘mean-girl’ problem; it’s a human heart problem. The good news? Jesus died for gossiping tongues too. When we mess up, His grace is bigger than our words, and His Spirit is ready to change us from the inside out.
The same Spirit who gives self-control also gives kindness and love (Galatians 5:22-23). When we’re tempted to gossip, we can whisper, ‘Holy Spirit, fill my mouth with life, not death.’
In marriage and close relationships, gossip looks like:
- Talking about your spouse (or his/her family) to your mom, friends, or coworkers instead of to your spouse
- Repeating something private that was shared in confidence
- Venting ‘for prayer’ when it’s really just complaining
- Joining in when someone else starts tearing a mutual friend down
Ridding your life of gossip is freeing and allows love, kindness, and goodness to enter your heart and be blessed onto others. Removing gossip requires self-control to restrain the behavioral response to talk about someone else. But for gossip to truly be out of your life, you will need to focus on your self-esteem and understand that you are loved and worthy, just as you are, by God!
Healing gossip in marriage looks like:
- Taking every complaint or hurt straight to your spouse (or straight to God)
- Refusing to listen when someone starts gossiping about your spouse or family
- Building a ‘no-triangulation’ rule: we only talk TO each other, not ABOUT each other
- Speaking about your spouse the way you’d want them to speak about you when you’re not there
Take the time to read the scriptures below and truly focus on what they are saying to you. Some passages may touch you differently than others. Writing down the verses in your own hand is helpful for some individuals. Possibly looking up the verses in your Bible may be beneficial. I use a NIV bible translation. Or reading them over and over to commit to memory. Whatever method works best for you to experience God's words and feel closer to Him.
Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 141:3
Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Proverbs 8:6-8
Listen, for I have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right. My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
James 1:19
My dear brothers, take note of this; Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
Proverbs 10:19
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.
James 3:5-6
Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
Proverbs 11:11-13
Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed. A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
Proverbs 26:20
Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.
Proverbs 16:28
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
Proverbs 18:21
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Here's a short prayer if you can't find the words:
Father, forgive me for the times I’ve torn someone down to feel better about myself. Set a guard over my mouth today. Heal the insecure places in my heart that make me compare or criticize. Help me speak only what builds others up—especially my spouse and family. Fill my words with Your kindness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Try one of these today:
- Before you share something about anyone, ask: ‘Would I say this if they were standing here?’
- If you catch yourself gossiping, stop mid-sentence and say, ‘Actually, I shouldn’t be talking about this. Let’s pray for them instead.’
- Tell your spouse one thing you genuinely admire about them today—no ‘but’ attached.
I sincerely pray that these verses meet you where you are and help you to see that gossiping about others hurts not only them but you as well. Tearing others down will not build you up in anyone else's eyes.
God bless,
Melissa
