Devotional for Communication

Good communication isn’t just talking a lot. It’s being fully known and still fully loved.

Most marriage fights aren’t really about money, sex, kids, or the thermostat. They’re about feeling unheard, disrespected, or alone. When we stop communicating well, we stop connecting deeply—and the enemy loves that.

We all bring baggage into marriage: the family we grew up in taught us how (or how not) to talk, listen, and fight. Some of us learned to yell, some learned to shut down, some learned to use sarcasm as armor. None of those are from Jesus.

The good news? Jesus is the Word made flesh—He knows how to communicate perfectly, and He’s ready to teach us. Communication in marriage isn’t about winning arguments; it’s about protecting oneness.

In marriage, Christ-honoring communication looks like:

Speaking the truth in love, even when it’s hard (Ephesians 4:15)
Listening to understand, not just to reply (James 1:19)
Owning your part quickly—“I was wrong, will you forgive me?”—instead of defending
Fighting for the marriage, not against each other
Praying together in the middle of the mess instead of walking away

There can be times that we blow it with our words. That doesn’t make you a failure; it makes you human. The incredible news? The same tongue that wounds can heal (Proverbs 12:18). Jesus forgave the very people crucifying Him while the nails were still in His hands. He gives us His heart and His words when ours run out.

Take the time to read the scriptures below and truly focus on what they are saying to you. Some passages may touch you differently than others. Writing down the verses in your own hand is helpful for some individuals. Possibly looking up the verses in your Bible may be beneficial. I use a NIV bible translation. Or reading them over and over to commit to memory. Whatever method works best for you to experience God’s words and feel closer to Him.

James 1:19

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Proverbs 15:1

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Colossians 4:6

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Proverbs 18:21

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Matthew 12:36-37

But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.

Here’s a short prayer if you’re struggling to find the words:

Father, my words have wounded the person I love most. I’m sorry. Thank You that Jesus’ words on the cross were forgiveness, not condemnation. Heal the places my tongue has hurt. Give my spouse and me ears to hear each other’s hearts today. Teach us to speak life, listen well, and fight fair. Make our home a place where words build up and never tear down. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Try one of these today:

Use the phrase “I feel ___ when ___ because ___” once today instead of “You always…” or “You never…”
When tension rises, pause and pray together for 30 seconds before speaking another word.
Tell your spouse one thing you heard from their heart this week and thank them for trusting you with it.

Your words can be the glue that holds your marriage together—or the weapon that tears it apart. Choose life. Choose love. Choose Jesus’ way.

God bless your marriage—and every word you speak in it,

Melissa